Have you been constantly fighting with your partner and want to be better yourself at communication? I have had the same problem for 6 years now and I want to share with you how I overcame the problems and understand my partner better.
Hello, and welcome to Acinoinspira. In this blog I will take you through 10 of the little known ways I have experienced that brought more joy to my relationships.
Once you’re done reading till the end of this post, I assure you that you will leave a happier, empowered, and a better you, which your partner will fall in love once again. Don’t believe me? Read through to find out on your own!
So, here they are:
10 ways to a better relationship.
But let’s make this all fun and games.
Let’s try role-playing here. You can be you, and I will be your partner.
We’re in an argument and the first thing I want to do is just get out of the room because you don’t understand me. Or at least you don’t try to. Here I go saying…
So, this is it? I play by your rules, while you don’t try to understand a thing I say?
Now, instead of fighting more, you say.
Okay. Let’s figure this out. We’re in this together. I’m not here to fight against you, but to fight this with you. Help me understand you.
1. Humble you: The first thing, in any form of argument, is to humble yourself before your partner. The reason you do this is to cool down the steam built in their head first, so that the conversation does not go haywire.
After hearing you say you want to fight this together and understand me, I now am cooled down and speak these words.
This happens all the time. Why do we fight like we do. We could never agree on a single point but are opposed by each other. I want to address the problem and deal with them in a mature way.
This is your chance to make this right. You now
2. State the problem: Although this just the second step, you will find its easier to do it now. You try to understand YOUR problem, not your partner’s and state it.
Maybe I am just a little hot-headed sometimes, which closes all doors to understanding what you want. I just know what I want, but never consider what you do. And that is, what I feel, my problem is.
(Yaay! You impressed your partner) They then go on to think of their problem and addresses their problems to you. Now don’t start taking them to heart, and play the blame game. You’ve come this far, might as well try to
3. Solve them TOGETHER: So now you know your weakness and you addressed it before your partner and the same with them. (Another hit!) Ask for suggestions on how you may improve. But you need to mention that the both of you need suggestions. Remember it shouldn’t be one-sided.
I feel like you could be more consid………(listen well and take note, but take no offence) considerate towards my views and my efforts. I believe that would help.
And you say…
Oh wow! Okay, THANK YOU (say it, you really mean it, don’t you?)
I will try to work on that.
And you exchange the suggestion. Suggest him honestly and not fake out.
Now, that you have understood them better, by knowing their needs and their thoughts, you now
4. Ask for help: Yep! More humility. Accept the fact that both of you are humans, who’re prone to mistakes and will snap easily some time soon. So, (please?) tell your partner that. Ask them to help you at such times if they feel you snapped.
Now you get to just
5. Talk it out: Acknowledge your partner for trying their best to cope up. Appreciate how they have communicated and show some looovvvveeee. Give them a kiss on their forehead and say, “I am proud to be doing this together with you” or anything that comes out naturally off your heart.
And this is how you argue. Do it with love.
6. Always think about the other person that’s in the listening end. Don’t try to act cool and show off your vocabulary or the ability to relate one situation with another. Your partner already knows you enough, if you do that, they’ll know you’re faking all of it. That is why, I say think of your partner before you say anything.
7. Be honest. Sometimes you might “fake it till you make it” your style of argument, but then take the time to tell your partner the truth. Just tell them you acted tough because you felt like (…..insert own words here…..) and get a laugh off that. Please try not to take what your partner says to heart and hurt your feelings.
8. Confront them only when you know it is their mistake 100%. Before that, try to figure out on your own. And do not let doubts overshadow you. If you don’t tell them what you think they did, they won’t know. Don’t assume your partner has the superpower to understand you just by your “😒” and “😣” please. They need to be explained to understand.
9. End all arguments before the next day. Be best friends. No one will judge you if you say, “ Hey, man, it’s bedtime, hug it out? I don’t wanna go down to sleep with anger in my heart.” or if you fight all night and end up solving the matter at 4:37 am in the morning. Once again ‘THEY WILL UNDERSTAND YOU IF YOU COMMUNICATE CLEARLY’
10. If things heat up pretty bad, pray. This shouldn’t even be the last point, instead this should be the first and foremost step in every relationship. But I kept this at 10 because people who fight most are the ones that might not be able to pray. So there you go. If you’re one of these people I mentioned, try praying. It helped me so great that in every argument we make, I say “Please pray for me” and he does it and I change through the help of two and not just one.
In concluding my post, there’s this disclaimer. It’s great to have arguments as it strengthens a relationship, but you need to do it the right way. Not that my way is the right or wrong way even, but these points are just to help you het past the stage of fighting it all on your own, while you could be doing it together. Ah. A quote is coming
Fight right. Yet fight not at night. (cuz your neighbor might be interested in it too)
So this is me saying byee byee and see you in the comments section (cuz I am begging you to comment if this could be of any help to you (or your neighbor) 😉 )
Have a good one! And by that I mean have a good argument 😋
Okay so, to start off, I haven’t been doing well with my blogs. I ran out of ideas and struggled to keep up with everything and everyone. Thank you for still reading my blog posts, you mean a lot to me, you inspired me to continue this, and so I am here.
I literally am bursting out my feelings for my blog. This is my first “own thing” and I kinda blew it. I shifted my focus from my goals as well as my passion for writing.
Do you think you can help me out on this? I don’t know what to do anymore. Please comment below if you think I should continue.
So far, I have had thought about my blog and these are what I came up with:
Rebranding it: I was thinking of rebranding it, because I lost my motivation to write. My blogs are not interesting to me any more than it can be for you. Hence, I am planning to shift my niche to “relationships”. Hoping that some-group-of-bodies will like what I post. But then, i figured it’s better to be
Selling it: I am really overthinking to even think of selling my blog because it has nothing to sell about. It’s a costly investment I invested without really understanding what I got myself into, and now, when I do sell it, I cannot be guaranteed that the other person will benefit from it. They might even suffer too, maybe, more than I did. And they might regret buying the blog from me. Again, thinking about someone who really wants to have a blog of their own, i am thinking of just
Giving it away: This is my best “option” (if there is any) when deciding what to do with my blog. I really want to do this but this needs a longer process than just to
Leave it be: I wish, tho. I cannot do it anymore because it involves a lot of hard-work to even promote and let other people know and read my blogs. I forgot my motive and maybe it’s because I left my brain in the toilet. So I thought of leaving this blog thing. Therefore, I hate to say this but I might as well
Continue: Believe me, this is the last thing I want to do, because I feel stuck. I don’t feel like I am inspiring or helping anyone at all anymore. So I considered to continue for the saw of my (present) followers.
I want to shout out to these amazing people here for their support –
Thank you for being here and not leaving my blog all by itself, like I did, cuz I am a fool.
With all this being said, I would like to post regularly and share my world and my life with you. Will be posting regular pictures as well as everyday journals so you can also be part of my world through this blog.
Once again, I am grateful to you all. ♥️♥️♥️
See you tomorrow. (Starting the 10-day journalling challenge tomorrow)
Are you a morning person? Like me? Well, I wouldn’t just define myself that, but rather, it depends on what I do for the day. Suppose, if I knew what I am going to do tomorrow at 12:27 PM, I would prepare myself for it.
The time I do these habits are bound to change on days where I feel like there is so much to do in so little time. But the habits don’t change, hence I call them habits.
Without further ado, let’s head on to the first thing I do when I wake up…
Also, I wouldn’t include stuff like brushing my hair/teeth in it because they are obvious and would just make the list longer.
Here are the 10-morning habits I follow and why I follow them:
Wake up from my bed without taking a glimpse of my phone. This is the most important step for me because when you get up without touching your phone first thing in the morning, you are in control of yourself. You get to decide what to do that morning, and the whole day even. The device is a distraction to a better and healthy morning, I feel. For me, it has kept me in bed long enough to “good evening”. So, I now become in control of what I own and not the other way round. So here we are, the first-morning habit accomplished.
Drink warm water. Hmm, what about drinking warm water? Well, first and foremost, I tried drinking warm water for a week and have seen such improvements in my skin. I had pimples and dry skin a week before, but now, they’re all gone! So this is why I drink my warm water every morning. It is also a great way to get your digestive system warm-up before you break the fast.
Read. I love reading, it helps me think clear and organized. But I also find myself sitting with a book in my hands for as long as morning to dawn, if the book interests me too much. Hence, I read in the morning. I read either a chapter or even half of it in the morning so I don’t get caught up with other things and won’t have time for reading. I have been reading Genesis and now in Exodus. I chose to read it because I am a History major student, and the Bible has the best histories you could ever find. And after this I just
Pray. Growing up, my parents made this a habit in my life. When I was little, I felt like this is the most boring thing to do, because I didn’t really know what it could impact. But now, as I grow older, I began to realize its power and its benefits. And so I pray every day. There was a time when I didn’t take this seriously, and would just meditate instead, but I feel this is more effective.
🚽 visitation. Yes, this also became a habit. How? You ask? Well, since the human body has a timeframe, and your brain helps with that. You go to it at a certain time, for a number of days, and the brain will set an alarm for it in your mind, and you will always want to do your business at a certain period of time. I made this my habit, and I don’t have to visit the *ahem for the whole day.
Breakfast. This is considered a habit since it is followed by a habit. I have my breakfast after I come from the restroom/toilet/ whatever you call in your language. When my stomach is emptied and I feel the need for food. This is the best time, I feel, that you could have breakfast. By this time, the warm water has already flushed and distributed all over your body, hence the food will also digest better and sent throughout for more health and strength.
Check emails and socials. After my breakfast, I am now about to take a look at my phone. This is when I usually take my phone and legit switch it on. It takes about 1.5-2.5 hours for me to reach this point of habit, which is the best thing. I got to do certain things before I even do it. After checking on all my stuff, I go on to
Plan my day. I take my planner and just plan for the day. I will share what I do in a day in another post, but as of now, I just plan for the day and try to get all of them crossed out at the end of the day. I make sure to leave out the small details and just enter the entries that are most important in my day. I also keep a deadline for almost every single item on the list. Like, for example, I wrote “write a blog” and kept a 4 PM deadline just beside it. And so that is how I get through my day.
Practice French. Another habit I have just taken up. Although I loved learning French, I have started learning 5 years ago. But I wasn’t consistent. But I joined a learning app – Duolingo and it is such an aid. I have never been learning and entertained at the same time.
Start my day. After all that I have done, the above points, I now begin my “today” with all of the items on my to-do list. This way I understand what I should expect for today and also know when to stop working and take a break.
I hope you liked reading until here. This is what my morning looks like, and this is how it can look if you are interested to follow me through this post. But sometimes, one can never be too organized, it kills all the fun. You can make a morning routine that fits you best and try to do them accordingly.
I will now leave with this quote:
The first two hours of your morning are crucial for a productive day. Decide how they should work.
Thank you for being here and reading my blogs, do subscribe for related content and until next time, take care… 🙋🏽♀️
Hey there, I searched all through the internet to find the books the Bible sorted by the number of chapters but I couldn’t find them. The reason I wanted them was that I thought of reading the Word starting from books with the least number of chapters and then proceeding on to the others. I finished Obadiah and Haggai but don’t really know what else to read since it was hard to sort out the other books as Nahum, Malachi, and others had 3 chapters each.
A little about this blog:
By the way, if you are new here, welcome to AcinoInspira. I will be sharing with you Bible-related content as well as my lifelong journey in this blog. Be sure to check out my other blogs here… I hope the following sorted-out list helps you in just any way possible. But most importantly, I hope it sparks the flame inside your heart to read the Word even more. I will be following this sequence of the list until I finish reading the “Minor Prophetical Books”. Ooh, if you have the YouVersion Bible App in your device(s), add me too. We can also share plans, and Bible verses, and even pray for each other. Would love to befriend you in the App.
Also, I have a YouTube channel, named “Study Glow“, where I am trying to share the not-so-obvious things I realized about the Word, and help others by encouraging them to get into the Bible and discover God more. But in the meantime, I am just traveling through this confidence journey
Here is your list of the Bible sorted out:
Thank you for visiting and have fun reading the Bible! God bless!
Do comment below on your approach to read the Word. Some might just be motivated by what you do. I will be commenting there too, but I also would like you to start first. Take the lead, my fellow friend.
I have been off blogging for a while lately and I felt like I didn’t really know how to do it anymore. I just got lost in the reality of life and found myself wandering over the things present on this platform.
I just didn’t know what to write anymore or how to write at all. For the past week, there had been happening too many life-changing situations that I just couldn’t be inspired to be here anymore. I wanted to start fresh, to renew whatever there, is to begin with.
This week has especially been a special and memorable one. My dad passed away. Before you go all the way into that, I would like to express my gratuity for you being here and reading this. Thank you for being this anonymous friend here and trying to be empathetic to what I am about to share. I hope you will also be blessed with a similar kind of companionship 🙂
This blog will be about the recent life-changing journey that I have encountered in the previous weeks and how I overcame it all.
It was on the first week of January when he got really sick. I went to see him at the hospital. He was wearing his old comfy tee. Staring into my eyes, he demanded me to come closer. The doctors said he won’t be able to speak as yet. Half of his body couldn’t function any longer. Yes, it was a hypertensive stroke. He murmured something, and I am left in tears for not understanding what he wanted me to do. I phoned my sister, but she was still home, washing herself. Fast forward to tomorrow, we came to know that he suffered from heart disease last stage. The docs said “We can’t do anything for you anymore, I am sorry”
I was deeply depressed, couldn’t perform well at work and couldn’t help home when they needed me to. A week later, I quit my job. I felt like serving two masters at the time and wanted to give up one. But logically, you don’t give up your family; so work it was.
After a week, my dad passed away. At that time my emotions went numb. I was in need of a psychiatrist/therapist or at least someone to counsel me at this very much-needed hour when people say I don’t have a heart cuz I didn’t cry at the funeral. Not that I didn’t, I tried but I just couldn’t feel a bit of emotions through my body.
Now, what do you do when this happens? You talk to your family, right? But there exists members who might not understand you and just talk about it as if it ain’t no biggie. So, I shut down. My mind, heart and body didn’t function anymore. It felt as though I was a walking dead body with a functioning nose and brain (note: I said mind shut down. I presume you know the difference between them)
After two nights of his funeral, I began to feel for his absence. I cried at 3 am, I cried it all out. Not leaving with me a single regretful tear. That was how I regained my feelings and emotions. I began to feel sorry again for dogs whose leg was hurt, and strayed cats. This is how I understood that not all people have the same kind of energy-plant that they could go to and refresh themselves. Some of us also have a cell such as mine that we enter in order for us to become even more equipped with what the world is teaching us. Some of you might have been privileged because you like to drink and I have heard stories that getting drunk does help you forget them all, unlike me, I just couldn’t drink even if I want to. I also just don’t want to forget my problems through a drink, and instead, I want to face it so it teaches me to become more matured. But I might just be judging here.
Do you also have a similar pattern in your life? Lost someone? Someone lost you? How do you relate to this?
Let me know in the comments section below! I want to give you a shout out for overcoming that but would like to know the process of how this has transformed you in a way.. so it helps others who even reads the blog 😊
So far, it has been a great day indeed. I will narrate to you a day in my life today 🙂 I hope you will like it and find something that could add value to your life as you go on and live it to the full extent!
But, before going there, I would like to appreciate you for being here. Not here, reading this, but for accomplishing so much of your milestones and reaching this point where I just can’t help but feel proud of you! I might not know what you go through, sadness or happiness, pain or joy, but whatsoever that you are going through right now, I am just proud of where you are, what you are doing for the world, your world. 😄 Keep sky-rocketing this way, and move on to a greater level of greatness!
And, we’re back to the “A day in my life”
I wanted to write something significant about this but I just couldn’t do more than what I already did. It was a day well spent for me. I hope it lights you up as you read through and inspirit you to create your kind of fun.
Diving in at the count of 3…. 2…… 1… and weeeeee!!!
I start my day by going through my planner( I write my plans for the next day before going to bed so that I don’t need to get up early and plan my day)
Then I made some breakfast and did some chores for the day. After completing all of that, I just go for a walk in the neighborhood, listening to my favorite devotional plan.
When I reached home, I just started to meditate and clear my mind out. On doing that, I find out that there is this clutter almost every person might have that would over-occupy our think-tank which would just slow down your creativity and speed of your brain. Doing meditation helps in so many ways. Meditation is a must for you if you feel like you are a busy-bee and you don’t just have time for anything. Try it out today!
After my meditation, I played with my pets for a while and head off to taking a bath and getting myself ready for the day.
I don’t usually like to just take bath and immerse myself in the tub then head out, but what I usually do is I keep these wonderful candles beside me so I can relieve myself from stress. At first, I thought of not buying them, but then a friend recommended them to me cuz, she knows how much stressful my job is.
After taking a soothing bath, I then move out of the house and went to my best friend’s house, and we both went cycling together 😊
We strolled around the city for 3 hours and finally decided to have our lunch at a typical, tiny restaurant in the city center. We then parked the two-wheels beside a golf course and we chilled on it for a while, had some laughs, and cherished some memories.
When dusk almost approached, both of us headed back home to where I find myself spending time with some other friends that came over; had some coffee and some things we conversed for some time. After they left, I just attended a virtual meeting at work and came in to write to you about my day.
I loved today mainly because I get to submerge my soul in the fresh breeze beating against my face while we were cycling through the forest roads, and synchronizing myself with nature while we were on the golf course.
What do you love about your day today? Let me know in the comments below..
Small thing to note: This page may contain affiliate links. If you click on my affiliate link and make a purchase, I would receive a small commission at no additional cost to you.
I was just wondering of all of you when I wrote this. How you would be open to chew this in and how many things would have a different meaning if I would say anything wrong here. But I am also full of hope that this will be a big impact on your lives and your loves (work, parenting, applies to all that you love to do, your passion, your desires)
What I want to talk about is something I very much lack it, at first, I thought, “Heck no! I can’t be diving into this headfirst. This is way too hard to accomplish in a lifetime”, but! Looking at the benefits of it, it is very much likely that I stop my thinking for a bit and listen to what it has in store for me and us.
What do you do when you are an introverted person, face gets red when someone breathes your air and gets uncomfortable when you are being spotlighted? Well, I just explained me there! The same is with me as well. I get all comfy to talk with individuals but dang, it cringes when somebody calls out my name in a group to talk about a specific topic. Oh! How the volume would minimize itself until it’s inaudible.
But here we are, talking about goals beyond our comfort zone. Here we are, wanting to make a difference by doing the first thing that would take away heartbeats from us. Why? Because there is nothing in this world that can stop us if we are passionate enough to let others be mutually influenced as we are. Somewhere somehow, you look at that TedTalk and want to be like them too, somewhat somewhen, you see someone you look up to talk about life, and you want to do that as well, but arrghh! This inability to speak our minds out. How do we do that then if we are too comfy in our pajamas, looking from afar the ability of others but aren’t able to do anything about it at the least?
I would like to share about my experience (again, cuz life is too boring to not take up opportunities when given). How some of the tips I will mention below helped me better communicate with strangers and people in general. You can also add in the comments, what your thoughts on these points are, your experience, or even your points to aid future readers as well.
Here are the points noted that helped me overcome this mountain and be free-flowing and smooth as communications should be.
Think of your WHY? Why you react as such. Why your mouth shuts when it is time? Why so on and so forth.
My why was: Why do I shut myself when something is ought to be talked about? A: Uncomfortable | Nervous | Dislike | Sad | Angry but don’t want to show it | Probed too often
Next up, think about one instance that you could have done better if you had it full on! It can be your an argument with friends or family, it can also be raising your hand in the class when you know the answer.
I thought of an instance where I had an uncomfortable situation with my fiancée but I didn’t say a word about it. (I know, crazy right? I can’t just open up to ANYONE)
Then after that, try to pretend that you are in the same situation and make use of the following points while doing so:
Take a deep breath, and analyze the situation.
Buy some time for you to clear your mind and spirit (all of the hate and resentment if you do have😁)
Ask for clarification (also part of buying time but then this could also make you more aware of what there is to talk about.
Choose what kind of tone you would communicate through
Calm yourself. Look away for a while and then come back
After all of this, you will also need to mention the following in the conversation. Here they are:
What I know: State to the person what you understand from it and let them know what you think of it.
What I do not know: State to the person about what you are not sure of, your doubts and your unclears.
How I will find out: (This is why you need to buy some time so you could come back with better composure of words and information) Tell the person the way(s) you will deal with it or that you will research on.
This is how you will make sure that you are at the least communicating well. In some time I will also do a part two on this but I am hanging up until here now.
Let me know if this helps, would love to hear your thoughts on it 🙂
So, last week was a very busy week. Wondering why? (Do check out my previous blogs if you haven’t done so) Well, because there was so much to do in so less time. I had taken a one week “self-reflection time” off from work. Without even knowing, I had three more days left for the self-reflection thingy. I had no idea how time flew past that quick. But luckily, I learnt something from it about my self, some things that I wouldn’t have if I didn’t take a week off from work.
Wanna know how it went? Read on ahead! 😊
I had a hard time figuring out what to do with my time throughout the week but hey, I am young and it’s like a must for me to procrastinate! Actually, that was the first thing on my list. Procrastinate! Haha, weird enough.
This is just from my perspective and what I had learnt last week during my self-reflection time. Not saying that these are the have-to rules for everyone here but, for those of you who really think you have walked past yourself and couldn’t catch up anymore, here’s some ideas for you to self-reflect on:
Go to your secret place or somewhere quiet. Do carry your headphones if you are going somewhere quite noisy
Flight-mode your phone. This is important so that you won’t get distracted while you work on your self-reflection. You can still listen to music, even if your phone is on flight-mode. Here is some music to listen to while you reflect.
Open the first page of your notebook, and start writing. Write whatever you feel at the moment, your thoughts, emotions, write up as much as you can. Fill one more page of that and then you read. Read what you wrote and examine yourself whether this is who you are. Through those writings, begin to notice a lovely writer writing a love letter and expressing how much it means to be alive daily.
Ahh! How good it does feel to have written all of the things in your brain-dump page. Now, you move on to the next page and let yourself be pampered with “What am I good at?”. The first impression is the best impression they say, so your first impression of this self-reflection journey can be why I love myself. Write down all of the things you love about yourself. The smell of your hair or socks, it can be as awkward as it is, since I don’t judge me. If you can’t think of anything yet, just try coming up with some points, around 3 to 4 at the least.
Now, you’re done with impressing yourself. You can then start with, what don’t I like about myself/ Things I need improvement on and things like that (remember that the goal is to impress yourself, so don’t write words like “Why I hate myself”, if you did, you wouldn’t even reach the 5th point). Again, it can be the smell of your hair or your socks, not judging (cuz I can’t see 😂)
Would you look at that! You have completed half of what it is there for your self-reflection. I am so proud of you (yes, proud of you who read till the 7th point without doing nothing as well😉) Here can you begin the harder part. Ask yourself the following questions:
Where do I see myself in 5 years?
What can I do now that will impact my future?
How do I change my habits so that my future self will be more lovely and have a good heart?
Where do I spend my money?
Where do I spend my time?
Why am I still doing what I am doing?
What is my maturity level?
After that, you can focus on your love life. What you want to do better or what you could do to make it blossom even more. Then go on to your jobs and businesses, think what you could do. This is because you need to focus on yourself first, your self-growth, your self-love, everything that helps you grow and prosper!
Well, I know I said ten steps, but I would like to leave one point for your creative you 🤗 The last thing you would want to do is close the notebook with your best bookmark or a page-holder, literally; and just look through it at the end of every week. Self-reflection is something that you do regularly. It can’t be done in a day or a week 😏
Here you go! Add on and groooowwww!
Okay, so I hope you find these tips helpful and do note this please: This page may contain affiliate links. If you click on my affiliate link and make a purchase, I would receive a small commission at no additional cost to you.
Let me know what you think of it. Would love to hear what you think ❤