Have you been constantly fighting with your partner and want to be better yourself at communication? I have had the same problem for 6 years now and I want to share with you how I overcame the problems and understand my partner better.
Hello, and welcome to Acinoinspira. In this blog I will take you through 10 of the little known ways I have experienced that brought more joy to my relationships.
Once you’re done reading till the end of this post, I assure you that you will leave a happier, empowered, and a better you, which your partner will fall in love once again. Don’t believe me? Read through to find out on your own!
So, here they are:
10 ways to a better relationship.
But let’s make this all fun and games.
Let’s try role-playing here. You can be you, and I will be your partner.
We’re in an argument and the first thing I want to do is just get out of the room because you don’t understand me. Or at least you don’t try to. Here I go saying…
So, this is it? I play by your rules, while you don’t try to understand a thing I say?
Now, instead of fighting more, you say.
Okay. Let’s figure this out. We’re in this together. I’m not here to fight against you, but to fight this with you. Help me understand you.
1. Humble you: The first thing, in any form of argument, is to humble yourself before your partner. The reason you do this is to cool down the steam built in their head first, so that the conversation does not go haywire.
After hearing you say you want to fight this together and understand me, I now am cooled down and speak these words.
This happens all the time. Why do we fight like we do. We could never agree on a single point but are opposed by each other. I want to address the problem and deal with them in a mature way.
This is your chance to make this right. You now
2. State the problem: Although this just the second step, you will find its easier to do it now. You try to understand YOUR problem, not your partner’s and state it.
Maybe I am just a little hot-headed sometimes, which closes all doors to understanding what you want. I just know what I want, but never consider what you do. And that is, what I feel, my problem is.
(Yaay! You impressed your partner) They then go on to think of their problem and addresses their problems to you. Now don’t start taking them to heart, and play the blame game. You’ve come this far, might as well try to
3. Solve them TOGETHER: So now you know your weakness and you addressed it before your partner and the same with them. (Another hit!) Ask for suggestions on how you may improve. But you need to mention that the both of you need suggestions. Remember it shouldn’t be one-sided.
I feel like you could be more consid………(listen well and take note, but take no offence) considerate towards my views and my efforts. I believe that would help.
And you say…
Oh wow! Okay, THANK YOU (say it, you really mean it, don’t you?)
I will try to work on that.
And you exchange the suggestion. Suggest him honestly and not fake out.
Now, that you have understood them better, by knowing their needs and their thoughts, you now
4. Ask for help: Yep! More humility. Accept the fact that both of you are humans, who’re prone to mistakes and will snap easily some time soon. So, (please?) tell your partner that. Ask them to help you at such times if they feel you snapped.
Now you get to just
5. Talk it out: Acknowledge your partner for trying their best to cope up. Appreciate how they have communicated and show some looovvvveeee. Give them a kiss on their forehead and say, “I am proud to be doing this together with you” or anything that comes out naturally off your heart.
And this is how you argue. Do it with love.
6. Always think about the other person that’s in the listening end. Don’t try to act cool and show off your vocabulary or the ability to relate one situation with another. Your partner already knows you enough, if you do that, they’ll know you’re faking all of it. That is why, I say think of your partner before you say anything.
7. Be honest. Sometimes you might “fake it till you make it” your style of argument, but then take the time to tell your partner the truth. Just tell them you acted tough because you felt like (…..insert own words here…..) and get a laugh off that. Please try not to take what your partner says to heart and hurt your feelings.
8. Confront them only when you know it is their mistake 100%. Before that, try to figure out on your own. And do not let doubts overshadow you. If you don’t tell them what you think they did, they won’t know. Don’t assume your partner has the superpower to understand you just by your “😒” and “😣” please. They need to be explained to understand.
9. End all arguments before the next day. Be best friends. No one will judge you if you say, “ Hey, man, it’s bedtime, hug it out? I don’t wanna go down to sleep with anger in my heart.” or if you fight all night and end up solving the matter at 4:37 am in the morning. Once again ‘THEY WILL UNDERSTAND YOU IF YOU COMMUNICATE CLEARLY’
10. If things heat up pretty bad, pray. This shouldn’t even be the last point, instead this should be the first and foremost step in every relationship. But I kept this at 10 because people who fight most are the ones that might not be able to pray. So there you go. If you’re one of these people I mentioned, try praying. It helped me so great that in every argument we make, I say “Please pray for me” and he does it and I change through the help of two and not just one.
In concluding my post, there’s this disclaimer. It’s great to have arguments as it strengthens a relationship, but you need to do it the right way. Not that my way is the right or wrong way even, but these points are just to help you het past the stage of fighting it all on your own, while you could be doing it together. Ah. A quote is coming
Fight right. Yet fight not at night. (cuz your neighbor might be interested in it too)-A
So this is me saying byee byee and see you in the comments section (cuz I am begging you to comment if this could be of any help to you (or your neighbor) 😉 )
Have a good one! And by that I mean have a good argument 😋